Going Away
by rese
Summary: Jo refused Laurie, but his mind won’t let her go


**Going Away**

By rese

Summary: Jo refused Laurie, but his mind won't let her go.

Disclaimer: Louisa May Alcott owns Little Women. I don't and therefore I don't get profit. Woot for writing for fun.

…

Laurie got off the ship and took a deep breath, the strong scent of London pervading his nose immediately.

Jo.

It was all he could think of and if he thought Europe could cure him of her as the others certainly did then he was clearly mistaken.

She was everywhere and nowhere. His hand wasn't in her and she wasn't smiling next to him at the grey clouds. But he could only imagine how dearly she would laugh and twirl about to see the sights around him.

It was fruitless of him to go away and now he would spend the rest of his miserable trip in agonizing imaginings.

…

He stood in front of a shop, just one of the many clones that spread down the street but what caught his attention was in the window. He could see himself.

There were lines under his eyes that hadn't been there before, a dark frown cemented on his face and a listlessness in his expression. It was very frightening and very real.

What had he become?

"Excuse me sir, but can I 'elp you?" Laurie spun about at the unexpected voice and found himself facing the most relieving and disturbing sight he'd ever seen.

"Jo…" he breathed, afraid he'd conjured up the woman in front of him.

"Pardon?" Laurie blinked. The accent was all wrong and if he leaned in just a bit he would find her eyes not to be grey but brown. It wasn't her after all.

"Oh, I'm sorry you just… you look incredibly like someone I know. Sorry –" Laurie laughed awkwardly as she watched him concernedly, "I should be off. Good day, Miss." He bowed and quickly walked down the street praying he'd never see whoever that woman was again.

Jo would've said something witty. She wouldn't be gazing after him in shock.

…

Laurie stared at the ceiling pretending that he wasn't pretending. Jo was beside him but when he actually turned his head to look she'd disappear. It was just an empty bed with no one but himself in it.

He sighed heavily, bringing his hands behind his head. It was so very torturous and it was so very predictable. What on earth could he do but sit and stew?

His eyes rolled and he rolled over, touching the pillow on the other side of the bed almost reverently. If Jo had said yes, if Jo had come, if Jo would stay with him, if Jo was tired too, then the pillow might've been hers. If, if, if.

Laurie still didn't know what he was doing.

…

The seat was harder than he imagined but it provided a sense of reality his mind had previously ignored as he seemed to float about the city, drifting from parks to streets to the seat by some nameless pond.

He stared at the pond without really seeing it, busy pondering his grandfather's words. _"You shouldn't be brooding boy, you're a man now and the world wants to see you as one. Don't let the girl's words leave you like this, think how disappointed she'd be to see you like this."_ But Jo wasn't going to see him like this. She didn't want him and she didn't want to come with him.

He exhaled and leaned back, ignoring the unsubtle looks of distaste from the wealthy that strolled by. "So Grandfather was right. They want an upstanding youth with something other than unrequited love on his mind" thought Laurie as he watched their backs, admiring the shuffle of the thick skirts and the gait of the long trousered legs.

Amy might've liked this just as much.

A sudden calmness overcame him and for the first time in half a year he almost smiled. She would love the picturesque scope of the garden, the glistening light off the water and the grace of the onlookers.

It struck him odd that he should think of Amy out of the three other sisters he'd abandoned in thought and paper since he left. Why didn't dear old Meg seem to fit in his imaginings, where her admiration of the rich and well-off would be satisfied here? Why not Beth with her gentle caring for all things natural and God-given green?

No, Amy was around here in Europe somewhere with the March's aunt. That was clearly the reason and Laurie nodded to himself, pleased that he 'put his finger on it'.

He sat forward again and actually smiled. It wasn't much but it was a start, for a whole minute he'd forgotten Jo and the world seemed to work again. Maybe he could become that gentleman he wanted to be, even without her.

…

_A/N: Well that felt thoroughly depressing to write. I don't know how that even came about scratches head. I think this could be extended into a longer story despite my shitty way of wrapping it up and might actually go into one of those challenges. Shall I or abandon and start another?_

_Btw, is anyone interested in writing a story with me? We could do it in turns… I dunno, but if you're interested please contact!_


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